Sports Un-fan
Today I've decided to come out of the closet...the sports fan closet, that is. I'll just say it. I hate watching sports. I'm one of about a dozen males in the United States that does not drool like Homer Simpson staring at a Duff beer when they hear the phrase "Sports Center." I just don't understand what draws most men and some women in to sportsfanship. And I'm absolutely dumbfounded when I see people have an actual emotional reaction to the outcome of a sporting event. Is it competitiveness? I consider myself a fairly competitive person but this personality trait doesn't seem to translate in this context. Why would my personal level of competitiveness attach itself to the performance of some sports team...that I am not on? Is it a sense of community? Perhaps this makes more sense but I seem to get quite enough community between work, church, friends and my hyper-active two-year-old daughter.
This should be no surprise to my parents, in-laws, and extended family. Invariably, I end up watching small parts of several football games around Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's Day. But most of the time I quietly slip out of the room to find something more interesting to do like trim my nose hair or organize ID cards in my wallet. However, there have been days when I was not able to escape. The most memorable was New Year's Day 1994 when I sat glassy-eyed on a couch for more than eight hours watching two football games at a time...yes, two at a time. My family set up a supplemental TV on top of the larger family room TV, each TV tuned to separate football games. I feel sure my life was shortened by a few weeks because of it.
I often find myself in the midst of real men who are talking about some sort of sports related subject. My personal policy is to maintain total silence during these awkward moments lest I say something stupid like, "Hey Bob, how'd yur Broncos do this weekend? I heard their pitcher was really good this year!"
Let me share my hierarchy of hatred toward watching sporting events:
As with most rules there are a few exceptions to this one. I love the Olympics. I love the spirit of world unity that it brings and I love watching the best of the best. And I love to watch the finals of most professional sports. I also have completely different feelings about playing sports. I loved High School football. And I still enjoy flag football and pick-up basketball. The problem is that my extremely out-of-shape body hates participating in sports more than I hate watching it and in the event that my brain thinks the word "exercise" my body puts me in my place by kicking a disk out of place.
7 Comments:
Ryan, as you know, I was fortunate enough to marry a man who had the same feelings about sports--and to have a son who would rather play with his girls than watch sports. Thank you Lord for intelligent people! Miss Judy
As someone who is counting down the days til Dallas Cowboys Training Camp, I'm a little confused. I'll even RECORD a pre-season game just in case I don't get to sit and watch it live.
Actually, I'm not the total sports fan. This time of year bores me because I'd rather watch a baseball game in person than on TV if that tells you anything. However, I can tell you that if there's a new episode of Trading Spaces (on TLC) and a NBA game, I'm going Paige over Shaq any day !!
No need to apologize - guys that just watch sports all the time must not have kids that you and I have.
great post, Rhino. Great.
Don't worry about the Trivial Pursuit thingy. Anyone who's played the game often enough knows that the "sports" category is informally called the "sports and liquor" category. There are just about as many questions about booze in there as there are about sports.
I don't understand it either, Ryan. But I are one (a sports fan, that is). I like to watch the game and then watch SportsCenter to see what they say about it. Then I read what the sports columnist in the newspaper has to say about it. Then I go to the on-line edition of the other team's newspaper to see what they say about it. Then I talk to friends and family about the game.
There is something wrong with me.....
As the son of a conspiracy theorist who thought sports were all fixed, I occasionally watch sports, but with a twinge of guilt. My 9 year-old son, however, will sit and watch a game from beginning to end without blinking. Watching with him has made it more enjoyable. Watching him play, though, is awesome.
Ryan, can I steal this post and stick my name at the bottom? I wouldn't have to change a thing.
My father puts the word "fanatic" back into "fan". He's a great guy, and I admire much about him. But as a kid, it didn't take me long to figure out that something that made him so mad and made him yell... actually yell... at a television screen probably wasn't worth investing in.
It's hilarious for Alyssa and I to engage just about anyone in small talk, whether they're neighbors, family or folks at church. They'll say, "Did you see the game yesterday?" Most likely, we won't be aware that there was a game, or even what sport is currently in season. We have learned to be honest and say, "We don't follow sports", which you think would end the conversation. But most folks... well, really most GUYS... can't even register this thought. You just said that you didn't follow sports, but they continue excitedly talking about the game, dropping player's names, stats and specific plays, as if you had said "Why, yes. We did watch that game. Wasn't that last inning/quarter/half incredible/pathetic?"
We've learned to switch the topic to kids or pets. Works just about every time. If not, ask them if they've seen any good movies lately. :)
Mark Reeves
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