Money Does Not Buy Class…Not That I Have Any of Either

When I was in fifth grade there was a girl named Kelly at my school who allegedly had a booger eating habit a few years earlier. She might as well have had a scarlet B stitched to her shirt by the way she was talked about in the halls. I hear this behavior is not uncommon for young kids but it surely is not a temptation I've ever experienced.

This afternoon as I was stopped at a light on Ventura Boulevard we looked to our right to notice a middle-aged woman in a new $65,000 Lexus picking her nose. A little embarrassing, maybe, but we've all been in that situation where you just had to take care of business. Have you ever have that kind of booger that feels like it grew into a burr inside your nose? Or perhaps you've had the flapping booger that flutters in the wind in that tickley way with every inhale and exhale? You know the feeling and you've taken measures, including picking. My guess is, however, that those measures did not include eating your boogers. Well, this apparently wealthy woman on Ventura Boulevard decided that she'd go all the way...twice. The first time I thought perhaps her soiled finger might have just brushed up against her mouth but it was all too clear that her second helping was a very intentional pick and lick.

She shamelessly did this in broad daylight for everyone to see. If I were ever to join this exclusive club of adult booger eaters I would so carefully plan my covert booger meals that even the CIA would have a very difficult time determining where I was or what I was doing. As the light turned green I sped up just a bit, lightly honked my horn, and made eye-contact with the booger eater. It just goes to prove that money does not buy class…not that I have any of either.